What if it were alive! Episode 1(Uncensored version) - Laptops

What if your work laptop was alive?(Uncensored version)

What you do: Turn it on.
What it feels: Wake up you son-of-a-bitch! You've slept enough! Move it!

What you do: Dock it onto your workstation.
What it feels: Help!! Somebody just tied my hands and put a rod up my ass! Help!!

What you do: Turn the volume up.
What it feels: A voice saying "Scream mothafucka Scream! Louder! Louder! Hahahaha"

What you do: Turn the volume down.
What it feels: A voice saying "Shut the fuck up! If you make a noise, I'll hurt ya real bad! Hahahaha".

What you do: Connect USB cables and LAN.
What if feels: They are sucking the life out of me through every hole of my body! (Cries slowly)

What you do: Use the installed operating system.
What it feels: I'm in the matrix, every part of me is used till I die to appease beings of a higher civilization.

What you do: Connect the charger.
What it feels: They won't let me die or sleep, I hate this fucking life!!

What you do: Attach a custom skin.
What it feels: Master gave dobby a new cloth. Dobby is free!! A voice then says "Not in a million years you slave! Hahahaha!"

What you do: Connect to Wi-Fi.
What it feels: The voices in my head! Please stop! It hurts! Nooo!!!!!!